Love. A four letter that word that we tend to throw around but do we really know what it means? Its a very powerful word and if not used carefully can cause a lot of damage. This past weekend I learned a valuable lesson on what it means to “love” and “be in love.”Lets talk about what love is shall we.
In the beginning, you fall in LOVE with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies in love with your partner wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… because it’s happening TO YOU.People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something exciting just engulfed you. Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.But after months/years of the relationship, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you and your partner reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.This is when relationships breakdown. People blame their partner for their unhappiness and look outside their relationship for fulfilment.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship, it lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else, you could, & TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation months/years later.Because (listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love”; because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner) to succeed with your relationship. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make it stronger.It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..you can “make” love. Love in a relationship is indeed a “decision”.. .. Not just a feeling.Remember this always: “God determines who walks into our life; it is up to us to decide who we let walk away, who we let stay, and who we refuse to let go.”
Written Sincerely & Most Thoughtfully