Dating Purgatory….

According to Catholicism Purgatory is the condition or process of purification or temporary punishment in which the souls of those who die in a state of grace are made ready for Heaven. So basically, you aren’t going to hell but you sure as hell ain’t in Heaven yet either….

Well, despite the fact that lives purgatory is disputable, dating purgatory is DEFINITELY existent in the term “EXCLUSIVE”.

Let’s change the chart above to be as such, Earth=Single, hell=Booty Call/Jump Off relationship, Purgatory=EXCLUSIVE, and Heaven=Committed Relationship. As a single person you know exactly where you stand, you stand BY YOURSELF, you have nobody to worry about, no one to answer to, its just you by yourself. As a jump off or booty call you know what exactly what you are, you are a glorified sex toy, this is basically the equivalent of hell because at the end of the day you are exploiting yourself for sexual pleasure.

Now this is where things get shaky….after talking to Silent Scorpion of the Cereal Daters and the wiser half of the Good Wives Club, they were asking the status of me and my new beau. I was pleased to say that we were no longer casually dating and had reached the dating level of exclusivity. AND THEN my bubble was burst, What in the hell is exclusivity? It means that we are ONLY dating each other and are BASICALLY in a relationship BUT without the titles….now, until a few months ago this would’ve never bothered me HOWEVER, after my new found wisdom, I have come to realize that people are given titles for accountability. Just like someone is called the CEO and President at work, someone is called boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife for a reason–ACCOUNTABILITY.

For example–If I choose to be ratchet, I still feel entitled to do so. Why is this? BECAUSE TECHNICALLY I don’t have a boyfriend, and until I have a title on it I am able to do whatever I want to…right?

OF COURSE NOT…even though I TECHNICALLY am right, life and relationships NEVER function properly on technicalities. Once you get emotions involved nothing is ever black and white…its ALWAYS GRAY! Do I take advantage of my visit in purgatory or do I simply just start like I am in a relationship because that is naturally the inevitable right now?

So here I sit, in purgatory…on the verge of a relationship but not quite there. I am the mirror image of Carrie and Big circa Season 4 (Post Affair & Pre Aidan Pt. 2) Even when you overcome a challenge like COMMITMENT PHOBIA something is always bound to come up next like waiting for the commitment…the irony…

I can’t speak up on war, but I can guarantee that nothing is ever fair in love or matters of the heart…

Happy Day before its time to get Ratchet….



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4 responses to “Dating Purgatory….

  1. It is so educative and informative that I do notneed one to give me more info about dating.

  2. Nothing is fair in love? It depends on the party involved. Sometimes things are fair. But…

  3. Jasmine

    That is definitely the truth! It kills me when people are so reluctant to accept the boyfriend/girlfriend title. Accountability is exactly what those titles are for.

  4. LeRoCha3

    OMG…speak on it!! In my last “relationship” this was definitely the source of many discussions. I’m a “black and white” girl so the gray of exclusive is so frustrating.

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