Monthly Archives: July 2010

Vicious Cycle

When did everything become so complicated?

I remember in elementary school it was a white piece of notebook paper that said “Will You Go Out With Me” Yes or No. Then in Junior High/High School you were either together or you weren’t. Relationships might have been a trivial 2 months BUT at least we knew, we were together or we weren’t. College was full of endless hookups and semi-long term relationships which tragically ended sometime before graduation….and then there’s the twenties.

The twenties seem to be a vicious cycle of “its complicated” relationships. We aren’t together but we are, or we are together but its ending or [insert any other twisted explanation here]. Very few people are ever “truly single” in there 20’s. In some way, shape or form, your “single actions” end up having to be explained to one  person (or people.)

Exhibit A: MY LIFE. I ended my “truly single” man fast to find myself in a pseudo-relationship. We aren’t together BUT the lines are so blurred that somehow our “exclusive dating” can easily be defined as “Hi, this is my boyfriend [insert name here]”. Whenever I get tired or frustrated and try to exercise my “semi-single” rights I always end up feeling guilty and ashamed that I am contemplating cheating on my “pseudo-boyfriend” and immediately find myself trying to reconcile whatever miniscule disagreement we found ourselves in. Should I feel bad? Technically not. But due to the vicious cycle I’ve allowed myself to fall victim to, I do.

So the question is posed-when do the idiosyncrasies of the 20’s end? (Someone please say it ends before marriage) because I am not trying to continue swirling around this confused pool of love like Carrie had to do until she finally married Big.

Between finding self, juggling priorities, and earning my place in this world, how in the hell does one break the cycle and come out on top?

Happy Wednesday…..

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